we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
