If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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