Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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