yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
