Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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