I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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