I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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