so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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