Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
