the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
