New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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