"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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