The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
