Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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