U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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