P.S. I can't hear my feet
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
