Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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