Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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