i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
