Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
