i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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