Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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