I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
