I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
