Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Randomize