You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
