Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
50% drunk capacity currently
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
