xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
