he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
