dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she pinky promised me she was 18
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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