So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The air was thick with penises
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
