ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
