how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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