He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
