dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
