And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
