I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize