He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize