Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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