In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
