problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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