my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
