I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
