I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
