New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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