I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
