Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
