i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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