can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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