He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize