people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
