if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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