Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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