She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
