i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
