As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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