cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
