It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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