how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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