Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
