Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
