how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
