Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
