So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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