It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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