Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
