what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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