Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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