she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
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i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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