when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
