no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
