stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
