I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
