i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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