What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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