I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
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