She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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