Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize