____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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