He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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