it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
