she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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